I went through an
experience of possession in the early 90's after the
repeated use of the Ouija board. The spirit called
itself 'Magician'. It was a compulsive liar, and any
question about itself was abruptly met with 'Goodbye'.
After only a few sessions, Magician had crowded the
board such that I could not contact any
other spirits. During a ouija board party where I was
present but not participating, I asked the participants
to ask any question about me and I left the room so as
to not influence the outcome in any way. Apparently,
Magician had taken the board again, for the pointer went
to 'Goodbye' and would not answer any more questions.
I eventually became aware of the
spirit's presence around me when I was not using the
board. It filled my thoughts with alienating fear and
hatred, just as you described, and I found myself
occasionally speaking and acting without conscious
thought. It haunted me. I would battle it mentally,
driving it off, but it would always come back when my
guard was down. One time, I 'pushed' against it
particularly hard, and I swear I saw a vague form
shimmering in the air near me.
Fortunately, I had friends. One of
them believed my plight, telling me that he had sensed
the spirit connected to my aura long before I mentioned
it to him. A Christian friend of mine spoke of how he
had felt an unclean charge of energy during one of my
sudden, involuntary actions. Another Christian friend
prayed with me, and I found myself talking in a strange
voice, viciously scorning his faith and mocking his
flaws, trying to break his faith.
At one point when the spirit was
plaguing me particularly bad, I sent it to "Kill
someone on the other side of the world. Just go!"
For the first time, the spirit seemed to fulfill my
request! It disappeared, leaving me with a feeling of
stillness in its absence. Its presence didn't return for
hours. I pray it didn't actually manage to hurt anybody
in the time it was gone.
Through all of this, I was never
afraid, since I was winning all the battles -- until I
realized that there would be no end to the war I was
fighting, that the spirit could continue these battles
forever. I became aware of an almost tangible connection
to the thing, like a cable stuck in the back of my head.
I knew from my born-again Christian
friends that accepting Christ was a way out. However, I
resisted, as I had serious issues with the narrow
Christian belief and I refused to hypocritically flee to
Christ for help, only to drop Him again when I was safe.
I had to be sure that I was accepting Him
unconditionally. I conducted a lot of soul searching
while continuing to battle the spirit.
When I finally did accept Christ into
my heart, it was as simple as answering a yes/no
question -- mind you, it was done with conviction and
commitment. Peace and love like I had never known
flooded my being.. It washed the spirit's influence from
me immediately and a few days later, its presence
disappeared entirely. A new, kinder voice that resonated
in my heart warned me that I must never communicate with
spirits again, or Magician would return.
I didn't look back until tonight. I
was afraid that thinking about it would summon the
spirit. As time went on, I began to doubt my
metaphysical experiences. At one point, I even believed
I was schizophrenic. Finding your web site has granted
me the relief of independent confirmation that I did not
have a psychotic episode ten years ago, and that my
experience was far from unique.